How could one prove that they are from France aside from the fact that they will say ‘Bonjour’ like Pepe le Piou with?
I’m going to give you 10 things that will definitely prove that you are French, or a die-hard French wannabe.
1.You buy bread everyday
In our family, we go to the bakery every day. If we know we won’t be able to go for a few days then we buy more and freeze it! That’s what we did during quarantine (and you do not want to go in a small village bakery during quarantine! They are SO petite, and it’s not as cute as it sounds in English…).
A lot of bakeries have special offers depending on where they are located and if they think they can fool people or not.
For instance, in my village, you get a “buy 10 get ONE free”.
However, in the bigger city next to us, they feel more generous. Indeed, it’s a “buy 3, get a 4th one free” type thing, OR even better for those that have gigantic freezers: a “buy 4, get FOUR free”.
2.You complain
A lot. About everything. All. the. time.
You know you have qualities, but you always emphasize on your flaws.
Someone asked me, a few days ago, if I was more French or American. I replied very honestly with a “malheureusement, je suis très française” (unfortunately I’m very French). I know that because I’m always reacting with negativity. I’m a pro at the negative comments (usually on myself), always complaining. I complain about complaining. I even write about me complaining about complaining.
The French are always fighting against everything. Incessant protests a well-known characteristic of the French population.
3.You are bored and annoyed on Sundays
There is NOTHING to do in France on Sundays. Stores are closed, or they are only open for a couple hours in the morning (bakeries, supermarkets). Many restaurants and bars are closed. Retail is out until Monday afternoon at the earliest.
Nothing left to do but be bored and complain again (see n°2).
I have noticed that a LOT of people have the Sunday blues. The PWD, the pre-week depression. So maybe that’s not specific about French people BUT, as there is nothing else to do, it is more likely that you will be depressed.
4.You only drink water or wine at dinner or lunch
The thought of drinking a soda or, even worse, milk, for lunch or dinner, is plainly repulsive.
My own children, who are still pretty young, think it’s disgusting to drink juice with your meal. Let alone milk.
Truth be told: only wine or water will help you enjoy your food. One will also help you find it more flavorful. The other one will help you speak better French while you eat or make you believe you are an excellent cook.
5.You eat late, like after 8pm
Listen, we have 3 kids and, when we manage to eat before 8pm then something is not normal.
There is no such thing as an early bird deal in a restaurant here. Eating before 7pm does not exist in France. How can anyone really do this? What is wrong with you?
6.You don’t like butter on bread with your meals
Grossest thing ever. I find it disturbing when you are at a restaurant and they bring you butter with your bread.
Bring me tapenade, hummus or even plain olive oil with a piece of bread if you must bring something.
7.But you will eat cheese at every meal
It is a well known fact that fromage is where all meals lead to, in France.
There is a cheese for everyone. From cheese with little to no-flavor, to cheese you cannot eat if you breathe over it, or that will prevent you from speaking to anyone afterwards for several days.
8.You have to have dessert
Dessert can be anything from a fruit to ice-cream, to a fancy yogurt, a piece of cake, a chocolate mousse or applesauce. So many delicious things at the store. Entire rows of desserts everywhere you look in restaurants or supermarkets.
It’s a must. And I’m not just saying that because I will eat dessert more than anything else in the world.
9.You have an acquired taste for sirop
Sirop is concentrated fruit syrup. They are very popular in France. You can have it with water, milk, sparkling water or ginger ale.
I didn’t grow drinking sirop (my mom is American so she didn’t care for it). I’d occasionally have it at a bar. When I met my husband, well I discovered the real deal (not with him, just with the sirop). His parents had all sorts of flavors available.
I’m talking anything from lemon to peach, to anis to basil, to mint to grenadine. I’d never seen anything like that.
10.You enjoy papers
I heart papers is on a T-shirt you own.
You love ALL THE PAPERS. To keep everywhere. Forever or until death to you part. Bureaucracy is your jam. Filing is a relaxing fun weekend activity. Administration runs through your blood. You follow #filingsystem on Instagram.
In France, every administration is like the DMV. You try to call and they never answer, and when they do it’s an answering machine saying they are now closed. If you go there: you wait, the clerks are rude, the lines are long, the people are mean and cut in (oh, do the French like to cut in and pretend otherwise, you can see here for more on annoying things the French do), there is always something missing, and for every important document you need you will end up waiting for it for 3 months. But I guess you don’t mind, because it’s been like that forever.
After reading all those wonderful habits and characteristics the French have, I bet you really want to be français. So, how French are you? If you’ve answered yes to at least 7 things, you are on the right track to demand your French nationality soon!
